BELOW IS SOME OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO OBSERVE IN MY 40 YEARS OF WORLD TRAMPING. (mostly) (includes some parts borrowed from Paul Theroux).

PIDGIN ENGLISH

 “You don’t finish?”

“No, I have finished, you may now collect the plates”

I had just arrived in Nigeria and the boy who came to my hotel room to collect the plates after the lunch asked me, “You don’t finish?”

Later I learnt that he actually said, “You done finish?” Meaning, “Have you done with your meal? Or rather, have you finished (your meal)?”

     “Weyar?” shouted the taxi driver after slowing down to almost a stop to my hand sign, meaning “Where?”

“To Kabakoo market.”

“I no go go theyar” [ I am not going there] and drove on. The taxi was more often than not plied as a mini bus collecting passengers and dropping them on a certain rout. Even there were motor cycle taxis that took a single passenger at a time. Any luggage the passenger had he/she balanced it on the head.

     “Please stop for a while”, I asked a Nigerian walking alongside my dead slow car. I intended to ask directions and it was dark. He blurted, “I no go stop” and continued walking, now faster.  

      We were four Pakistanis undertaking tests for Driving licence. One of us, Mr Riaz, was in his fifties and we in our thirties. The last test was driving your car backwards through the spaces between three drums placed in a straight line.

      Mr Riaz was the last to try after we three had done the test successfully. He went and promptly banged each and every drum as we heard bum, dum, boom. We couldn’t stop laughing. The inspector, himself in the fifties shouted at us, “So you laughing at this old man, Eh? Wayer is respect, eh? Ok you go see. I go pass him now now and all you go fail”. We had to reapply and pay fees and take all the tests in the coming weeks.

     In Tanzania I do not remember any pidgin English as they were proud to use Swahili even when they could speak English. As a result I was forced to learn Swahili and had to myself speak (pidgin) Swahili. “Meme anasema shamba wewe eko kuba sana, lakini shamba yangu wile wile eko hapana ndogo” (I say your garden is very big but also my garden is not small). They understood the gist of my meaning and were much amused.

     In South East Asian countries, they are fond of adding ‘la’ at the end of most sentences. “Ok la” was “OK”. In Brunei, Chinese people and even Malay found it hard to pronounce ‘t’. While playing tennis my partner would strike the ball and will argue with the opponents when they call: “OU”. They meant the ball was out. We were our own referees. Bottle was ‘bo’ell’. A Thai worker was telling his telephone number to his friend: two, thlee, five. Zillo, zillo. (23500). He got in return the thanks: “Sank you welli welli mutt.” (Thank you very much). Another will exclaim after hearing something extra ordinary, “you must be chokin” (You must be joking)

    A boy on a London Train Station was heard saying, “The trin is just coming, we were almost layette”

    Even New Zealanders have their own peculiar accent. New Zealanders can be divided in to three major categories: NZ European (white), Islanders (Samoan, Tongans, Maories, …) and Indians and Chinese.

     “Are you allergic to eeg” asked the white doctor before administering the flue vaccine to me. I was new in NZ and asked my wife, who was nearby, “What is eeg?”. She said that what she (the doctor) meant was an egg. I told that I was not allergic to eggs and received the treatment.

     “The weend is too strong, bitter you wrap up before vinturing out”, says a typical New Zealander, meaning, “The wind is too strong, better you wrap up…” They are sworn enemies of Australians and would easily say, “The Ausies are enemals”. “What do you theenk of our Na Zillon?” Was a curious question posed to visitors.  (Last few sentences are influenced from Paul Theroux’s “THE HAPPY ISLES”)

     Typically, when you ask any New Zealander, “How are you today”, you receive the reply, “I am good”. Now in other places they say, “I am fine,” etc. For them a plumber is plummer and library laibry.   

     The islanders in New Zealand are a group in their own. Most islander languages have limited alphabets. For example I noticed they cannot pronounce B and G. Consequently you hear one say, “I have four shildren, two kirls and two poys.”

     The Maori Language has ‘book’ translated as ‘Puka’. Thus a library is ‘whare puka puka’. ‘whare’ means house and ‘puka puka’ means books. Plural in Maori is done by repeating twice. This should not be of any surprise because in Sanskrit (Hindi) also a library is ‘ Pustak-alya’; and in Urdu, it is ‘kutub-khana’ (house of books). 

     It is curious to note that the Arabs are just opposite. They cannot pronounce P and would say, “Bebsi cola, Bakistan” for Pepsi and Pakistan.

     While we are at it, why not consider the Bengalis. They apparently find it hard to pronounce ‘v’ and replace it with a ‘b’. Thus a girl named Vidya in Lucknow will become Bidya in Kolkata. The world renowned Rabindra Nath Tagore was actually, in Sanskritised fashion, RaVindra Nath Thakur. 

     The aboriginals in Australia have their own Pidgin English. By walkabout they mean walk. There is Bible in Aboriginal Pidgin so they will find it easier to understand than in proper English. An example will suffice:

[Psalm 23: “Big Name makum camp alonga grass, takum blackfella walkabout longa, no frightem no more hurry watta” (He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters.) credit: Paul Theroux.]  

     Americans have their own way of corrupting the English Language. Thus labour became labor, gaol became jail, schedule (sheedool) became schedule (skedule). What is more, even a British billion (1000,000,000,000 one million million) became American Billion 1000,000,000 (a thousand million). They are though more British than the British in that they even now use pounds for weights (as against kg); feet, mile against metre, km; degree Fahrenheit against degree centigrade, etc.

    “Gimme a quata”. I was waiting for the taxi on the curb in New York when suddenly I noticed a stretched hand in front of my face. My eyes followed the hand through arm and met the beady eyes of a ragged homeless man asking for a 25 cts coin. I declined and felt foolishly proud to have refused ‘aid’ to America. Only years later I learnt of the ayatul birr (2/177, Qoran) that asks us to give to any one who asks, and I regret to this day.     

      There was a teacher who was nicknamed ‘water buffalo’ and would drive on the black board a Math sum and arrive at the final answer: 15 mm. He would say, “This is the answer, fifteen yam yam. 

      Another teacher named Father Gregory was fond of asking the boy sitting near the window, “Please close the doors of the window”.

      As far as the teachers’ nicknames are concerned, hardly any teacher would escape the students assigning one to them.  We had in our days in G.F. College Tidda Sahab (grass hopper), Jheengar sahab (Cricket) and Bakra Sahab (Goat)……… I arrived in Tanzania in 1970 direct from Shahjahanpur, where I was teaching in Hindi and never having spoken in English. I had my fare share of difficulty teaching in Tanzania in English and would often resort to Hindi in the heat of a discussion, much to the amusement of the class.

      Soon I discovered that they referred to me as Mr. Pilas. I would have been saying something like this: 2 + 2 = 4 (Two pilas two is equal to four). Later I corrected myself and started saying ‘plus’.

      I read a question, “A pint of beer costs 2 shillings…..” I read ‘pint’ as in ‘hint’. A student corrected me that it was pint (like paeent). I thanked him and was much embarrassed.

    English is such a language that I am still learning: speaking, writing, spellings, and grammar. Because of put and but. Because of pint and hint. 

ghalib

یہ نہ تھی ہماری قسمت کہ وصا ل یار ہوتا 

اگر اور جیتے رہتے یہی انتظار ہوتا 

آ ہی جاتا وہ راہ پر غالب 

کوئی دن اور بھی جئے  ہوتے 

 خوں ہو کہ جگر آنکھ سے ٹپکا نہیں اے مرگ 

رہنے دے مجھے یاں کہ ابھی کام بہت  ہے 

غالب نے متعدد جگہ اپنے ہی اشعار کی اشعار سے تشریح فرمایی ہے یہ ایک مثال ہے. دوستوں کے لئے.  

1. yeh nah thi hamari qismat k wisal e yaar hota

agar aur jeete rahte yahi intezaar hota

(It wasn’t my lot to have met my beloved

Had I lived a little longer, still it would be just waiting only)

2. Aa hi jata woh raah par Ghalib

koi din aur bhi jiye hote

(I am sure my beloved would’ve accepted me only if I had lived a little longer)

3. khooN ho k jigar aankh se tapka nahiN ae marg

rahne de mujhe yaN k abhi kaam bahot hai.

(I am doing my best to entice her but) Yet in the effort my eyes have yet to shed red, O death, kindly leave me here a bit more as I have a lot to accomplish)

This is for my friends. Ghalib has given tashreeh (explanation) of his couplets in his own other couplets.

                                                      INSURANCE CLAIM

(Main idea borrowed)

       Name:  Murali Dhurendar Godbole

       Policy No:  10539/52 (Toot Phoot)

       Place of accident: Construction site, Motiara Bend, AK

       Date and Time: 30th of February, 2011, 6 p.m.

       Claim: Multiple fractures and injuries.

       Details:

1. Deep lacerations on the back and on the hip

2. Left hip bone fractured

3. Two fingers of right hand crushed.

4. Head injuries (cuts, suspected fracture)

5. Right leg bone below the knee fractured.

     I am a mason working with the Metaorang Construction Company Ltd. On the day in question I finished my work at around 6 p.m. I was laying bricks at third floor level. I had a supply of bricks in a drum which was hanging next to me over a pulley. I came down the ladder and decided to bring down the brick drum, not wanting it to remain dangerously hanging through the night. I loosened the rope tied to a nail on the ground that passed over a pulley on the top. I failed to let the rope go and realized too late that I was climbing up as the drum loaded with the bricks was coming down at increasing speed. I was too high now to let the rope go for if I did I would fall on the ground. Soon my butt met the loaded drum as it passed me and that left deep bruise on my left hip. I heard the noise of the drum hitting the ground with force as I found at the same time that I had climbed the whole length of the rope up and my three fingers were fed two knuckles deep to the pulley with the rope. This accounts for my crushed fingers. The drum met the ground with such a force that the weight of the bricks knocked the bottom off and now, I being heavier than the brick less, bottom less drum, started my journey downwards as the drum was climbing up. We met again in the middle leaving deep gashes on my back. I landed on the pile of the bricks and had the mentioned fracture on my left hip. In an agony I let the rope go and now the empty drum came down and I was not quick enough to move out of the way. It landed squarely on my head and then on my right leg. This will explain why I am complaining about head injuries and leg fracture.

Note: Early settlement will be appreciated as I feel very much down as it is.    

Ghalib ki zameen mein ek khoobsoorat Ghazal, Faisal Wadood ne kamal kar dia hai. Daagh ne bhi aesi hi koshish ki thi. please see my post: GHALIB AND DAAGH http://shakilakhtar.wordpress.com/2012/08/21/ghalib-and-daagh/

GHAZAL (DESIGNED BY: NAZLY AFZAL SHAH)

ghazal

تیرے کوچے کی آخری شب میں.

 KAALOO BHANGEE

BY KRISHNA CHANDAR

     I have been thinking why no one in the entire literature (the little that I read) ever dwelt upon the plight of India’s untouchables. Then I came across this short story in which Krishna Chandar has succeeded in saying a lot without saying much. It is about our society and its unfairness and about the wretched condition of a huge section of us Indians.

The Vedas have proclaimed that some people were born from the mouth (Brahmana), some from arms (Warriors), others from thighs (vaishya/ traders) and some from the feet of Purusha. The feet born became the lowest of the low caste. Thus humanity has been divided into four major groups (called colours) [chaturvarnya].

Excerpts from the internet:

 Any attempt to discover who the Shudras were and how they came to be the fourth Varna must begin with the origin of the Chaturvarnya in the Indo-Aryan society. A study of the Chaturvarnya must in its turn start with a study of the ninetieth Hymn of the Tenth Mandala of the Rig Veda— a Hymn, which is known by the famous name of Purusha Sukta.

 What does the Hymn say? It says (in part) :

12. The Brahmana was his mouth, the Rajanya was made his arms; the being called the Vaishya, he was his thighs; the Shudra sprang from his feet.

There is no society in the world which does not have classes. Mostly they are socio/economic groups which shape themselves through the forces of time. But the Vedas have gone a step further by institutionalizing the division and by providing a basis for it to be divine. That too can be accepted but the so called three ‘higher’ groups took it upon themselves to make sure these unfortunate fourth people never receive a decent treatment and must remain the object of exploitation, abuse and degradation of the highest order. The Vedas only stipulate the four ‘colours’ (chaturvarna) which could be just administrative and the higher classes stretched the provision to bad, worse treatment also. If there are references in the Shastras that these people must be badly treated, I am not aware. But I do remember that a girl from bhangee class in Amir Khan’s show Satyamev Jayte, who did Doctorate in Sanskrit and is a professor in Delhi University, said that it is mentioned in the Dharm Shastras that these ‘people’ must live filthily.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OUoXsryE3c&feature=share (9:36 min.)

These unfortunate people have been assigned for five thousand years menial jobs like cleaning human waste and making shoes. No job is too low and I am fully aware of the dignity of labour. It does not pain me as much for these people doing these dirty jobs for next to no wages as I am sad for these people receiving all sorts of insults and abuses besides.

Not long ago in South India a man would shout, “be ware, be ware, a Brahmin is coming” and another would be sweeping with a broom the path before the Brahmin who had decided to tread upon the earth. The first man was warning the untouchables to stay clear lest their shadow should fall upon him, and the other was making sure that the path was clean and had not been defiled recently by any shudra.

In a wedding someone complained to the resident Brahmin that a shudra passed by casting his shadow upon the cauldron with cooked food. The food was ordered to be discarded and the offender beaten.

The character Kaloo Bhangee of Krishna Chandar was dark skinned. His feet were flat and crude, legs were thin with knee bones protruding more prominently than is usual. His chest was full of grey dusty hair, whereas the neck was long and thin and the eyes were beady and deep in the sockets. He was cleaner of the Government Hospital and received salary Rs 8 per month. Apart from hospital duties he tended the Doctor’s cow and  the compounder’s (dispenser’s) goat. These two animals were the only friends he had. He never fell sick. The Rs 8 he spent upon simple needs of life like food and reserved a rupee per month for his annual pair of clothes. When he finally fell sick, he was allotted a place in a ward away from others and the dispenser would pour medicine in his open mouth from a distance. He died and was buried unceremoniously by the police.

Krishna Chandar uses this character as a symbol. He sees him often even after his death. In the end he writes,“I alone cannot help you. Stop coming on my conscience. Each section of the society has to come and help you out. Possibly there will come a day when someone will take away the ever-present broom from you and hold warmly your hands to take you to oblivion.”

Krishna Chandar’s wish/prophesy is coming true slowly but surely. In India a lot has been achieved in the last 50 years that was unthinkable during last 5000 years. Now you find people from these classes go to schools and colleges and even pass exams that lead them to become administrative officers. That is due to the policies of Indian Government but still the mind-set of the people at large sadly remains unchanged.

Some people even say that the shudras are paying in this life for the bad deeds of previous life. The worse deed (Karma) that these upper cast Hindus can commit is treat these human beings harshly, and then from their own argument be prepared to be born themselves as shudras come next life!

Even though the low caste people are in majority (more than 80% of Hindu population), India has yet to have a dalit prime minister. The nearest we can say is Mayawati of U.P (CM) and Laloo Prasad of Bihar. In USA they have done a lot of correction to the past atrocities meted out to blacks and now even have elected a black President. Similarly in South Africa, soon after the apartheid ended, blacks there came to power. But the Indian politics is such that the minority (high caste) perpetuate their grip on government and on society. I remember there was a time, 1977 just after emergency, when a dalit, Jagjiwan Ram, was all set to assume as Prime Minister. But to his annoyance Jay Prakash Narayan chose Murarji Desayi. He was from Brahmin class, his curious habit of routinely drinking his own urine notwithstanding.

Some Hindus even consider Muslims and Christians as unclean (Malichh). Thus a character, Godbole in E. M. Forster’s “A passage to India” says to Dr. Aziz, “You almost delayed me”. Godbole was in a hurry and narrowly missed bumping into Dr Aziz. If he had, he would have to go back and take long showers.

Here a famous sher of Bullhe Shah comes to mind.

Chal Bulhiye chal uthe chaliye jithe sare unne

Na koi teri zat phichane , na koi tainu manne.

(OBullhe Shah, let us move to a place where people do not know you and your class, so they will treat you fairly)

Another sher of Iqbal:

Ek hi saf mein khade ho gaye Mahmood o Ayaaz

Na koi banda raha aur na koi banda nawaaz.

 (Both the master and the slave join the congregation of prayer in the same line, there was no knowing who was master and who was slave)         

I have seen this practically happening. In Brunei, the Sultan would come to the mosque every Friday and all would pray together.

The no. 7

1. In the Qoran there is mention of 7 skies (sab’aa samawaat). Is this a coincidence that there are 8 planets including Earth (and excluding Pluto which does not qualify for a planet). So there are 7 planets floating in the sky over the Earth.  Seven skies one above the other so to say.

2. In the Vedas, it is written that Surya Devta (the sun) is riding a rath (vehicle) pulled by seven horses. This may only be a simile as there are seven colours in the rays coming from the Sun. (Visible ones, actually now we know there are lot more ‘colours’: ultra violet, infra red, radio, radar, gamma rays etc). Coincidence or is it knowledge from the High Above?

    .  .There are some who contend that Hindi and Urdu are one language

An excerpt from the site: http://www.uiowa.edu/~incinema/Hindinote.html

“Their language is identified in the notes as “Hindi”—which is one label for the lingua-franca of much of north and central South Asia. This spoken language (sometimes also called “Hindustani”) is commonly written in two scripts: Devanagari (a chunky, angular script identified with its Sanskrit heritage)

and Nastaliq (a flowing cursive based on the Arabic alphabet, indicative of a thousand years of Islamic cultural influence in the region).

When Hindi is written in Nastaliq, most people nowadays call it “Urdu”"

The writer above asserts that the alphabet used in “Urdu” is Arabic, where as it is Persian (there is no Pe, Te, che, gaaf etc in Arabic). And he goes on to decide that it is Hindi all along.

   If one believes this innocent naïve writer, one would think that Mirza Ghalib was a Hindi kavi instead of a Urdu Shayer. But then he may say it was Mirja Galib who wrote gajjals in Hindi, after which what remains to be said.

Please read the following presentation and decide for yourself.

    I remember the days of High School Exams, where we were asked to translate an English passage to Hindi or to Urdu. I have used this thing (in A) to make my point. i.e., an English passage will be translated in to Hindi, Urdu and Hindustani respectively. There are further examples in B and in C.

    [F YOU CANNOT READ HINDI AND / OR URDU, ROMAN VERSION WILL HELP]

 A

AN ENGLISH PASSAGE 

Translate the passage given below in to Hindi, Urdu and Hindustani 

Dear Sir, I received your letter with a pleasant surprise and with a sense of pride. I have always been a fan of yours not only because of your clear, rational approach to all the issues but also because of your humane, humble and kind attitude. As you rightly mention in this letter that you will rather be a hermit than live on the labour of others, and that exploitation of any kind of men by men can never be condoned, I would like to submit for a closer look at things in the context of reality. Ideals are good for debate and for discussion but people at the helm of affairs must take into account factors that define the real nature in which things take shape in actual life. A good mixture of ideal set up with allowance of measured and minimum tolerance of the forces of reality can give us a workable model for our society

HINDI 

निम्न लिखित पद्यांश का हिंदी में अनुवाद करो 

प्रये श्रीमान 

तुम्हारा पत्र मिला, आनंदमय आश्चर्य एवं गर्व का आभास हुआ – मैं तो सदा से ही तुम्हारा भग्त हूँ; न केवल इस कारण क़ि तुम सम्पूर्ण विषयों पर उज्जल, सतर्क धारणा रखते हो बल्कि इस कारण भी कि तुम्हारा वैव्हार मानवताशील, उदार एवं दयालू होता है –  तुम ने इस पत्र में सत्य लिखा कि तुम को साधू होना प्रये हो गा इस की तुलना में की तुम अन्य प्राणियों के श्रम पर जीवित रहो- तथा इस बात की पुष्टि होना असंभव है कि पुरुष का पुरुष द्वारा शोषण किया जाये – मेरी याचना है कि वस्तुओं पर वास्तविकता के सन्दर्भ में निकट से एक द्रष्टि दाल ली जाये – आदर्श  केवल  विचार विमर्श एवं विवाद प्रतियोगिता के लिए उत्तम है परन्तु वह लोग जो जीवन के कार्यक्रम के चालक हैं उन्हें उन वस्तुओं को भी ध्यान में रखना पड़ता है जिन के कारण वास्तविक जीवन को प्राकृतिक रूप से आकार  मिलता है. हमारे समाज को एक ऐसे चालू उपकरण की आवश्यकता है जो एक सरल मिश्रण हो, आदर्शों का तथा ठीक मात्रा में वास्तविकता के बलों का. 

[nimn likhit paddyansh ka hindi mein anuwaad karo:

pryiye shreemaan

tumhara patr mila, anandmay aashcharya evam garv ka aabaash hua. Mein to sada se hi tumhara bhagt hoon, na kewal is kaaran ki tum sampoorn vishayon par ujjal, satark dhaarna rakhte ho balki is kaaran bhi ki tumhara waiwhar maanavtasheel, udaar evam dayaaloo hota hai. Tum ne is patr mein sattya likha ki tum ko saadhu hona priye ho ga is ki tulna mein ki tum annye praaniyon ke shram par jeevit raho tatha is baat ki pushti hona asambhav hai ki purush ka purush dwaara shoshan kiya jaaye. Meri yaachna hai ki vastuon par waastavikta ke sandarbh mein nikat se ek drashti daal li jaye. Aadarsh kewal vichaar vimarsh evam vivaad prtiyogita ke liye uttam hain parantu weh log jo jeewan ke kaarrya kram ke chaalak hain unhein un vastuon ko bhi dhyaan mein rakhna padta hai jin ke kaaran vaastavik jeevan ko praakritik roop se aakaar milta hai. Hamaare samaaj ko ek ayese chaaloo upkaran ki aawashyakta hai jo ek saral mishran ho, aadarshon ka tatha theek maatra mein vastavikta ke balon ka.

2. URDU

مندرجہ ذیل عبارت کا اردو میں ترجمہ کیجئے

جناب عالی ، آپ کا مکتوب پا کر ہم اک خوشگوار حیرت اور فخر کے احساس سے د و چار ہوئے -

ہم تو ہمیشہ سے آپ کے مداح رہے ہیں اس لئے ہی نہیں کے آپ معاملات پر شفّاف اور منطقی نظر رکھتے ہیں بلکہ اس لئے بھی کہ آپ کا طریقہ کار انسانیت ،رحم اور سا د گی سے عبارت ہوتا ہے - آپ نے مکتوب هذا میں بجا فرمایا ہے کہ آپ فقر فاقہ کو اس بات پر ترجیح دیں گے کہ دوسروں کی محنت و مشاققت پر جیا جائے - مزید یہ کہ انسان کا انسان کے ذریہ کسی بھی قسم کے استحصا ل

کی حوصلہ افزایی نا ممکن ہے- یہاں ہماری گزارش ہے کہ اشیا پر باریک بینی سے حقیقت کی مناسبت سے غور کیا جائے- ویسے تو ایک مکمّل اور بے عیب معاشرے کا ذکرعام بحث و مباحثے یا مناظرے میں اچّھا لگتا ہے تاہم ان لوگوں کے لئے جن کے ہاتھوں میں معاشرے کی با گ ڈور ہوتی ہے ان عوامل کو زیر غور لانا ناگزیر ہوتا ہے جو حقیقی زندگی میں چیزوں کے روپذیر ہونے پر اثر انداز ہو تے ہیں.- ہمارے معاشرے کو ایک ایسے ملے جلے نظام کی ضرورت ہے جس میں اعلی اقدار کے سا تھ سا تھ ان عوامل کا بھی اک نپی تلی اور حتّی المکان کم ترین مقدار میں حصّہ برداشت کیا جائے جو بہر کیف زمینی حقایق پر مبنی ہوتے ہیں –

[mundarja zail ibarat ka Urdu mein tarjuma kijiye

Janab e aali, aap ka maktoob paa kar ham ek khush gawaar hairat aur fakhr ke ehsaas se do chaar huye. Ham to hamesha se aap ke maddaah rahe hain, is liye hee nahin k aap muaamlaat par shaffaaf aur mantaqui nazar rakhte hain balke is liye bhi k aap ka tareeqa e kaar insaaniyat, rahem aur saadgee se ibarat hota hai. Aap ne maktoob haza mein baja farmaya hai k aap faqr o faaqa ko is baat par tajeeh dein ge ke doosron ki mehnat o mashaqqat par jiya jaaye. Mazeed yeh k insaan ka insaan ke zariye kisi bhi qism ke istahsaal ki hausla afzayee na mumkin hai. Yahan hamari guzarish hai k ashiya par bareek beeni se haqeeqat ki munasibat se ghaur kiya jaye. Waise to ek mukammal aur be-aib muashre ka zikr aam baheso-mubahise ya munazre mein achha lagta hai, taaham un logon ke liye jin ke haathon mein muaashre ki baag dor hoti hai un awaamil ko zer-e-ghaur lana naguzeer hota hai jo haqeeqi zindagi mein cheezon ke roo pazeer hone par asar andaaz hote hain. Hamaare muaashre ko ek aise mile jule nizaam ki zaroorat hai jis mein aala iqdaar ke saath saath un awaamil ka bhi ek napi tuli aur hattal imkaan kam tareen miqdaar mein hissa bardaasht kiya jaye jo bahar kaif zameeni haqaayeq par mabni hote hain.]      

3. HINDUSTANI

हियां से नीचे जो अंग्रेजी मा लेख है ऊ को ब्रिज भासा मा तनिक बदल देओ 

प्रिये जजमान, तुहार पत्तुर मिला हम तो भय्या चौंक गए अऊर हम खुसी के मारे फूल गये. हम तो तुहार सुभचिन्तक हैं हमेसा से केवल ई कारन नाहीं कि तुम सभई मुद्दा मा सीधा खरा बात करत हो बल्कि ई कारन भी कि तुम्हरा सुभाव जनसेवक, धीमा अऊर मीठा  होत है. इस पत्तुर  मा तुहार सोच बिल्कुलयि सच है कि इस से तो ई अच्छा है कि आदमी साधू बन जाए न कि दूसरन की कमाई खाए और ई भी कि एक दूजे को खा मखा हैरान नईं करने का. हमरी बस इत्ती बिनती है कि जरा ई देख लेओ कि का होत है अउर का होना चय्ये. ई कहना कि ई होना चय्ये ऊ होना चय्ये  भला लगत है जब दुई पढ़े लिखे लोगन के बीच बेकार की ठना ठनी हुई जाये या कौनु मंच पे जाए के बकैती करे। पण समाज के मुखिया लोगन को ऊ सभई चीजन को ध्यान मा राखन की जरूरत है जो जीवन मा अपना जोर दिखावत हैं . 

ऊंचे और खरे विचारों वाले कायदे कानून के साथ साथ यदि वास्तविकता के बलों को भी जरा जरा मान दिया जाये तो समाज के लिए ई बहुतई अच्छा कार्रयक्रम बन जाये .

[ Hiyaan se neeche jo angreji ma lekh hai oo ko brij bhasa mein tanik badal deo.

Priye Jajmaan, tumhra pattur mila, ham to bhayya chaunk gaye aoor ham khusi ke mare phool gaye. Ham to tuhar subhchintak hain hamesa se kewal ee karan naaheen ki tum sabhayi mudda ma seedha, khara baat karat ho,balki ee karan bhi ki tumhra subhaao jansevak, dheema aoor meetha hot hai. Is pattur ma tuhaar soch bilkulayi sach hai ki is se to ee achcha hai ki aadmi saadhoo ban jaye na ki doosran ki kamaayi khaye aoor ee bhi ki ek dooje ko khaa makhaa hairaan nayin karne ka. Hamri bas itti binti hai ki jara ee dekh leo ki ka hot hai aoor ka hona chayiye. Ee kahna ki ee hona chayiye, oo hona chayiye bhala lagat hai jab duee padhe likhe logan ke beech bekaar ki thanaa thani hui jaaye ya kaonu manch pe jaaye ke bakaitee kare. Pan samaaj ke mukhiya logan ko oo sabhayi cheejan ko dhyaan ma raakhan ki jaroorat hai jo jeevan ma apna jor dikhawat hain.

Oonche aoor khare vichaaron wale kaayde kaanoon ke saath saath yadi vastavikta ke balon ko bhi jara jara maan diya jaaye to samaaj ke liye bahutayi achcha karryakram ban jaaye.]   

………………………………………………………………………………………

B

Urdu

Ghalib said in Urdu:

un ke dekhe se jo aa jaati hai munh par raunaq
woh samajhte hain ke beemaar ka haal achcha hai

Hindi

If he were a Hindi kavi, he would have said:

Oo ke dekhan se jo aa jaat hai mukh par shobha 

Oo bicharat hain ki dukhya ki dasha uttam hai.

……………………………………………………………………………

C

   It was 1977 general election season in India (After the Emergency) and I was in a village visiting some relatives. Now Indira Gandhi was very unpopular due to her infamous emergency and it showed in one incidence. I saw one village woman giving advice to another about who to vote for. She shouted across the field

“Bah RaanD ko mat dayyo, bah ne to haddayi kaddayi”

This is in Hindustani and will translate as below

Urdu

Us khabbees (aurat) ko hargiz na dena. Us ne to had hi kar di

English

Do not vote for that bitch. She crossed all limits

Hindi
us raakshasni ko mati dalna, woh to saari seemayen phaand gayee 

“This should have been part IV of my series of posts,”SHAHJAHANPUR LIFE i,ii,iii

 It is different in that it features a unique character called Mr. gaRbaR and it is in Urdu. This is as it was in the 50′s in Shahjahanpur. Roman part is at the end

ہمارے موحلے میں عاصم صا حب بڑی ہی دلچسپی کا سامان مہیا کرتے تھے  –  لفظ ‘گڑبڑ’ کو ہر جگہ اور ہر موقے پر استمال کرنے کی عادت کی  وجہ سے انکا نام ہی گڑبڑ پڑ گیا تھا -

 ایک بار کا  ذکر ہے ہمارے یہاں ایک تقریب میں سارا محلّہ مدّعو تھا – لوگ دس بارہ چار پایوں پر لدے  بیٹھے تھے – ہر چار پآیی پر ایک الگ ہی بحس چھڑی ہوی تھی بجز ایک کے جس پر عاصم صاحب تشریف فرما تھے – عاصم صاحب خاموشی سے سر جھکاے ایک ہاتھ سے اپنی شیروانی کے بٹن اوپر سے نیچے تک بار بار یا  تو گن رہے  تھے یا یہ معلوم کرنے کی کوشش میں تھے کے آیا کوئی بٹن ٹوٹ تو نہیں گیا - انکی چا ر پآیی  پر بیٹھے ایک صاحب  انکو غور سے دیکھ رہےتھے اور باقی دو ایک دوسرے کی آنکھو میں آنکیں ڈالے  ہوئے تھے- اچانک وہ ہاتھ لہرا کر چلا یے ،”یہ آپ کیسی گڑ بڑ باتیں کر رہے ہیں “. انکا رخ برابر والی چارپایی کی طرف تھا-” اس طرح تو سارا معاشرہ ہی گڑ بڑ ہو جائے گا”

معلوم ہوا وہ مستقل برابر والی چارپایی کی گفتگو سن رہے تھے -انکی اپنی چارپایی سے ایک آواز اٹھی،”ارے گڑبڑ صاحب آپ نے تو ہمیں چونکا ہی دیا “-عاصم صاحب گرجے ،”دیکھئے جناب جمیل صاحب ہمیں عاصم کہتے ہیں اور آپ سے گزارش ہے کہ ہمیں گڑبڑ جیسے گڑبڑ الفاظ سے نہ بلایا کریں- کہیں ایسا نہ ہو کہ ہمارے منہ سے آپ کی شان میں کچھ گڑبڑ نکل جائے- انکی اس تقریر کا یہ نتیجہ نکلا کہ  باقی کی تمام چارپایوں پر خاموشی چھا گیی- اس سے ایک فائدہ یہ بھی ہوا کہ مولوی صاحب کی نپی تلی اور متوازی آواز سنایی دینے لگی-،”بیٹا کہو بسم ا للہ”  -

عاصم صاحب تڑپ کر اٹھے اور لپک کر پلنگ پر جا بیٹھے -یہ پلنگ چار پاییوں  میں خاص تھا  کہ اس پر قالین بچھا تھا اور اس پر سفید چادر اور تکیہ تھا- اس پر محلے کے  معزز ترین لوگ تشریف فرما تھے: چیر مین صاحب اور انکے ایک دوست- یہ پلنگ ایسی جگہ پڑا تھا کہ باہر سے آنے والے  سارے مہمان اس کے پاس سے گزر کر چار پاییوں پر جا جا کر بیٹھتے رہے حتیٰ کہ یہ دونوں معزز ین  آے -انہیں گھر کے لوگوں نے بصد اسرار یہاں بیٹھنے کو کہا- سب مہمان تو اپنی انکساری اور اپنی اوقات کے مطابق پلنگ کے پاس سے ایسے گزرے جیسے انہیں اس سے کوئی مطلب نہیں -ہان البتہ عاصم  صاحب لمحہ بھر کو یہاں ٹھٹکے تھے لیکن جب کسی نے اسرار نہیں کیا تو آگے بڑھ گئے اور  ایک چار پآیی کی پٹی  پر ٹک  گئے-  -سارا وقت وہ کڑھتے رہے کہ  ان لوگوں نے ہم کو وہاں کیوں نہیں بٹھایا -اسی پلنگ کے متصل دالان کے ساتھ ایک چوبی تخت تھا جس پر چاند نی بچھی ہوئی تھی اور گاؤ تکیے کے ساتھ پانچ سالہ پپو میاں اوران کے سامنے مولوی صاحب بیٹھے تھے- لمبے سے دلان کے ہر در میں پردہ پڑا تھا اور پردے کے پیچھے سے عورتوں کی کڑاوں  کڑاوں آوازیں آ رہی تھیں – کسی نے ان کو بھی چپ رہنے کو که دیا-

 عاصم صاحب جاتے ہی پلنگ پر پیر اٹھا کر بیٹھ گئے اور پپو کو مخاطب کیا -

“بیٹا، جیسا مولوی صاحب کہیں ویسا کہو : بسم ا للہ”

خاموشی

“ارے دیکھو اگر تم نہیں کہو گے تو بہوت گڑبڑ ہو جائے گی ” انھوں نے غا لبن کھانے میں دیر ہونے کی طرف اشارہ کیا-

خاموشی

مولوی صاحب نے عاصم صاحب کی طرف کچھ اس طرح دیکھا جیسے که رہے ہوں :آپ بیچ میں نہ بولیں - پھرپپو سے مخاطب ہوئے ،”بس “

“بس”

“مل”

“مل”

“له”

“له “

 مبارک ہو  مبارک ہو ، چاروں طرف سے آواز آی – سب نے باری باری اٹھ کر پپو میاں کے سر پر ہاتھ پھیرا اور سلامی دی – آنا دو آنے روپیہ آٹھ آنے- چیر مین صاحب نے دس روپے کا نوٹ پیش کیا تو عاصم صاحب نے اپنی  دواننی واپس رکھ لی  اور اندر کی جیب سے روپے کا نوٹ نکالا- دل میں سوچا :پلنگ پر بیٹھنا بھاری پڑ گیا – سارا حساب گڑبڑ ہو گیا-

 عورتوں کی کڑاؤن کڑاؤن آوازیں پھر سے آنے لگیں اور لوگ بھی باتیں کرنے لگے- لالہ نے پپو میاں کو گود میں بھر کر اٹھا لیا- سہرے کی لٹیں انکے سر کے دونوں طرف لٹکنے لگیں -پلنگ پر سرہانے انکے لئے جگہ بنایی گیی – عاصم صاحب سرک کر پائتی پر ٹک گئے اور اپنی ٹانگیں لٹکا دیں -

اچانک عاصم  صاحب اٹھے اور پپو کے  سر پر ہاتھ پھرتے ہوئے اپنی پہلی والی جگہ کی طرف جانے لگے – اتنے میں کھانے  کا اعلان ہوا تو وہ الٹے پھر گئے اور صف پر بیٹھنے والے پہلے آدمی کہلاے –  سفید چادر کی صف کے دو رویا بیٹھے آدمیوں کے درمیان سے ایک سلپچی گزاری گیی جس میں سب نے ہاتھ دھوے – کسی نے دونوں ہاتھ تو کسی نے ایک ہاتھ ہی دھویا – کسی نے داہنے ہاتھ کی انگلیاں ہی بھگو لیں -ایک آدمی  لوٹے  سے پانی ڈالتا جاتا تو دوسرا پیچھے پیچھے تولیہ لٹکاے لٹکاے چلتا اور لوگ اپنے منہ کے سامنے لٹکے ہوئے تولیہ  سے ہاتھ پونچھتے جاتے- عاصم صاحب کی طرف سب  سے آخر میں جب سلپچی پہونچی تو وہ پانی سے بھر چکی تھی -انتظار کے بعد جب خالی سلپچی آیی تو انہوں نے انگلیاں ہی بھگوین اور تولیہ کو چھوڑ دیا کہ گڑبڑ ہو گیی ہے-

    کھانا برابر والے گھر میں پکایا گیا تھا – موحلے کے نایی جنہیں سب عزت سے خلیفہ جی کہتے تھے باورچی کا کام بھی کرتے تھے – انکی ہدایت میں باقی گھر کے لوگ مل جل کر کھانا تیار کر لیتے- دونوں گھروں کے درمیان والی دیوار میں ایک کھڑکی تھی – اس کے دونوں طرف آدمیوں کی قطار کھڑی ہو گیی اور د یگ سے صف تک ہاتھوں ہاتھ قاب اور رکاب آنے لگیں – قورمہ پلاؤ اور تازی تندوری روٹی کی خوشبویں سارے میں پھیل گیئں – جن کو پہلی صف میں جگہ نہیں ملی وہ اپنی جگہ پر بیٹھے اس خوشبو میں نہاتے رہے اور اپنی باری کا انتظار کرتے رہے -

 چیر مین صاحب کو پلنگ پر اور مولوی صاحب کو تخت پر کھانا پیش کیا گیا – مولوی صاحب کے برابر میں ایک طشتری میں انکا نیا جوڑا رکھا تھا جس کی تہوں سے پانچ روپے نوٹ جھانک رہا تھا-

عورتوں کے لئے دلان میں ہی صف بچھا دی گیی تھی -

پپو اپنا سہرہ تکیے پر پٹخ کر کب کے جا چکے تھے اور بچوں میں کھیل رہے تھے -

ایک بڑے سے ٹب میں پانی بھرا تھا جس میں برف کے بڑے بڑے ٹکڑے تیر رہے تھے- ٹھنڈا پانی جگوں میں بھر کر صف پر وقفے وقفے سے رکھا تھا اور ان کے ساتھ ہی کٹورے تھے-

میٹھے میں فیرنی مٹی کی طشتریوں میں تقسیم ہوئی  جسے انگلیوں سے کھایا گیا -

 ایک طرف ابا میاں بیٹھے حقہ پی رہے تھے – جانے سے پہلے عاصم صاحب ابا میاں سے ملنا  نہیں بھولے – بولے ،”شکر ہے الله کا کہ تقریب _بسم الله احسن طریقے سے تمام ہوئی اور کوئی گڑبڑ نہیں ہوئی “-

انہوں نے حقے کی نے منہ سے نکالی، اور کہا ،”گڑبڑ صاحب گڑبڑ کیا ہونا تھی. تشریف لانے کا شکریہ” عاصم صاحب باہر کی طرف لپکے -

(جاری ہے)

Acknowledgement (Mr GaRbaR is not my creation. I met him somewhere in Urdu adab. I only created the scenes here)

TASHREEF LANE KA SHUKRIA

(i)

Hamare mohalle mein Aasim sahib baDi hi dilchaspi ka saamaan muhayya karte the. Lafz gaRbaR ko har jagah aur har mauqe par istemaal karne ki aadat ki wajah se unka naam hi gaRbaR paR gaya tha.

Ek baar ka zikr hai hamaare yahan ek taqreeb mein sara muhallah muddaoo tha. Log das baarah chaarpaaiyyon par lade baithe the. Har chaarpaayi par ek alag hi bahes chiRi hui thi. Bajuz ek ke jis par Aasim sahib tashreef farma the. Aasim sahib khamoshi se sar jhukaaye ek haath se apni sherwaani ke batan ooper se neeche tak baar baar ya to gin rahe the ya yeh maaloom k arne ki koshish mein the aaya koi batan toot to naheen gaya. Unki charpaayi par baithe ek sahib un ko ghaur se dekh rahe the aur baaqi do ek doosre ki aankhon mein aankhen dale hue the.

Achanak Aasim sahib haath lahra kar chillaye, “Yeh aap kaisi gaRbaR baateiN kar rahe hain.” Unka rukh baraabar waali chaepaayi par tha. “Is tarah to saara muaashra hi gaRbaR ho jaaye ga”

Maloom hua woh mustaqil baraaber waali chaarpayi ki guftgoo sun rahe the. Unki apni chaarpayi se ek awaaz uthi,” are GaRbaR sahib, aap ne to hamen chaunka hi diya”. Asim sahib garje, “dekhiye janaab Jamil sahib, humein Asim kahte hain aur aap se guzarish hai ke humein garbar jaise garbar alfaz se na bulaya karen. Kahin aisa na ho ke hamaare munh se aap ki shaan mein kuch garbar nikal jaye” Unki is taqreer ka yeh nateeja nikla ke baaqi ki tamaam chaarpayion par khaamoshi chha gayi. Is ka ek faaidah yeh bhi hua ke maulwi sahib ki napi tuli aur mutawazi awaaz sunayi dene lagi, “Beta, kaho Bismillaah”.

     Asim sahib taRap kar uthe aur lapak kar palang par ja baithe. Yeh palang chaarpaiyon mein khaas tha ke is par na sirf qaaleen bichha tha balke us par safed chaadar aur ek munaqqash takiya bhi tha. Is par muhalle ke muazziz tareen log tashreef farma the; chairman sahib aur unke ek dost. Yeh palang aisi jagh paRa tha ke baahar se aane wale saare mehman is ke paas se guzar kar baaqi ki chaarpayion par ja ja kar baithte rahe hatta ke aakhir mein yeh donon muazizeen aaye aur inhen ghar ke logon ne basad israr yahan baithne ko kaha. Sab mehman to apni inkisari aur apni auqaat ke mutabiq is palang ke pas se aise guzre jaise unhen is se koi matlab nahin. Han albatta Asim sahib lamha bar ko yahan thitke the lekin jab kisi ne israr nahin kiya to age baDh gaye aur ek chaarpayi ke paynti patti par tik gaye. Sara waqt who kuDhte rahe ke in logon ne ham ko wahan kyon nahin bithaya. Isi palang ke muttasil, dalaan ke saath ek chobi takht tha jis par chaandni bichhi hui thi aur gaao takiye ke saath 5 sala Pappu Mian aur unke saamne maulvi sahib baithe the. Lambe se dalaan ke har dar mein pardaa paRa tha aur parde ke peeche se aurton ki kaRaon kaRaon awazen aa rahi thiN. Kisi ne unko bhi chup rahne ko kah diya.

Asim sahib jate hi palang par pair utha kar baith gaye aur papu ko mukhatib kiya, “beta, jaisa maulvi sahib kahein, waisa kaho, bismillah.”

Khamoshi.

“Are dekho agar tum nahin kaho ge to bahot gaRbaR hojaye gi”, unhun ne ghaaleban khaane mein der hone ki taraf ishaara kiya.

Khamoshi.

Maulvi sahib ne Asim sahib ki taraf khuch is tarah dekha k jaise kah rahe hon: aap beech mein na bolein. Aur Pappu se mukhaatib hue, “ Bis”

“Bis”

“Mil”

“mil”

“laah”

“laah”

Mubarak ho mubarak ho, charoN taraf se awaaz aayi. Sab ne baari baari uth kar Pappu Mian ke sar par hath phera aur salaami di. Aana, do ane, rupya, aath ane. Chairman sahib ne das rupaye ka note pesh kiya to Asim sahib ne apni duanni wapas rakh li aur andar ki jeb se rupaye ka note nikala. Dil mein socha, palang par baithna bhaari paR gaya. Saara hisaab gad bad ho gaya.

Aurton ki kaRaon kaRaon awaazein phir se aane lagin aur log bhi baaten karne lage. Laala ne Pappu Mian ko god mein bhar kar utha liya. Sehre ki lateN unke sar ke donon taraf latakne lagin. Palang par sarhane unke liye jagah banaayi gayi. Asim sahib sarak kar paynti par tik gaye aur apni tangeN latka deeN. Achaanak woh uthe aur Pappu ke sar pe hath pherte hue apni pahli wali jagh ki taraf jaane lage. Itne mein khaane ka aelaan hua to woh ulte phir gaye aur saf par baithne wale pahle aadmi kahlaye.

Safed chaadar ki saf ke do ruya baithe aadmion ke darmian se ek silapchi guzaari gayi jismen sab ne haath dhoye. Kisi ne donon haath to kisi ne ek haath hi dhoya. Kisi ne daahine haath ki ungliyan hi bhigo leeN. Ek aadmi lote se pani dalta jata to doosra peeche peeche taulia latkaye latkaye chalta aur log apne munh ke samne latke taulia se hath ponchhte jaate. Asim sahib ki taraf sab se akhir mein jab silapchhi pahonchi to woh paani se bhar chuki thi aur taulia geeli thi. Intezar ke bad jab khali silapchi aayi to unhoN ne ungliyan hi bhigoyiN aur taulia ko chhoR diya key yeh gaR baR ho gayi hai.

Khana baraabar waale ghar mein degoN mein pakaya gaya tha. Mohalle ke naayi jinheN sab izzat se khalifa ji kahte the bawarchi ka kaam bhi karte the. Unki hidaayat mein baaqi ghar ke log mil jul kar khaana tayyar kar lete. DonoN gharon ke darmian wali deewar mein ek khirki thi. Us ke dono taraf aadmion ki Qataar khaRi ho gayi aur deg se saf tak haatho haat qaab aur rakaab aane lage. Qourma, Pulao aur tazi tandoori roti ki khushbooyein saare meiN phail gayeeN. Jin ko pahli saf meiN jagh nahin mili woh apni jagh par baithe is khushboo mein nahaate rahe aur apni baari ka intezar karte rahe.

Chairman sahib ko palang par aur maulvi sahib ko takht par khana pesh kiya gaya. Maulvi sahib ke baraabar meiN ek tashtari mein unka naya joRa rakha tha jis ki tahoN se paanch rupaye ka note bhi jhaank raha tha.

AurtoN ke liye dalaan mein hi saf bichha di gayi thi.

Pappu Mian apna sehra takiye par patakh kar kab ke ja chu ke the aur bachchoN mein khel rahe the.

Ek bare se tub mein paani bhara tha jis mein baraf ke bare bare tukre tair rahe the. Thanda paani jagoN mein bhar kar saf par waqfe waqfe se rakha tha aur us ke saath hi katore the. Meethe mein feerini mitti ki tashtarion mein taqseem hui jise unglion se khaya gaya.

Ek taraf Abba Mian baithe huqqa pi rahe the. Jane se pahle Asim sahib Abba Mian se milna nahin bhoole. Bole, “Shukr hai Allah ka taqreeb e Bismillah ahsan tareeqe se tamam hui aur koi gaR baR nahiN hui”. Unhun ne huqqe ki nai munh se nikaali aur kaha,”GaRbaR sahib gaRbaR kya hona thi. Tashreef lane ka shukria.” Asim sahib baahar ki taraf lapke.

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Apart from Mr. GaRbaR, all the other characters are real and lived the scenes described here.

The Roman version is at the end.

a sequence to “TASHREEF LANE KA SHUKRIA (I) at

http://shakilakhtar.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/tashreef-lane-ka-shukria-i/

TASHREEF LAANE KA SHUKRIA (ii)

وہ ایک اچھے شاعر تھے – مراد علی  فکر صاحب -

ایک مقامی ہوٹل میں خاموشی سے چاۓ پینے کی  کوشش کر رہے تھے اور چاۓ پینا دوبھر ہو رہا تھا-

گھر سے سودا لینے کے لئے نکلے تو ہوٹل میں گھس گئے کہ شاید یہاں بیٹھے لوگ انکی شاعری سننے کی فرمایش کریں- لیکن یہ کیا؟ سامنے بیٹھا ہوا لڈ ن تو بس شروع ہی ہو گیا -اس کو فکر صاحب سے   الله واسطے کا بیر تھا- انھیں تنگ کرنے کا کوئی موقع ہاتھ سے نہیں جانے دیتا تھا- آج تو اس نے حد ہی کر دی – کہنے لگا،” مجھے کوئی فکر نہیں- فکر کی تو ماں کی ……..”

الو خاں ٹھیکی  والے کا یہ جوان اور خوبرو بیٹا عرصے سے دماغی خلل میں مبتلا تھا – بہوت علاج کرایا مسجد میں دعائیں کرایں ،لیکن وہ ایسا ہی رہا – پورا پاگل بھی نہیں تھا – بس صبح سے شام تک پھرتا رہتا ، آنے جانے والوں سے یا خود سے بے مطلب کلام کرتا ، ہوٹل میں اپنے مصاحبوں کے ساتھ وقت گزارتا – ذرا ذرا سی بات پر مرنے مارنے پر اتر آتا – اور فکر صاحب کو تنگ کرنا اسکا محبوب مشغلہ تھا-

TASHREEF LANE KA SHUKRIA (ii)

Woh ek achhe shaayer the. Muraad Ali Fikr.

Ek muqami hotel mein khaamoshi se chai peene ki koshish kar rahe the aur chai peena dobhar ho raha tha. Ghar se sauda lene ke liye nikle to hotel mein ghus gaye k shayed yahan baithe log unki shayri sunne ki farmayesh Karen. Lekin yeh kya. Samne baitha hua Laddan to bas shuroo hi hogaya. Us ko Fikr sahib se Allah waaste ka bair tha. Unhein tang karne ka koi mauqa hath se nahin jane deta tha. Aaj to us ne had hi kar di. Kahne laga mujhe koi fikr nahin. Fikr ki to maaN ki ……

Alloo Khan theki waale ka yeh jawaan aur khoobroo beta arse se dimaghi khalal mein mubtila tha. Bahot ilaj karaya, masjid mein duayein karayin, lekin who bas ayesa hi raha. Poora pagal bhi nahin tha. Bas subha se sham tak phirta rahta, aane jane walon se ya khud se be matlab kalaam karta, hotel mein apne musahebon ke sath waqt guzarta. Zara zara si bat par marne marne par utar aata aur Fikr sahib ko tang karma uska mahboob mashghala tha.

Ek baar sardion ki shaam jab dukanen band ho gayeen aur dukanon ke takhton par ja baja baithe obaash ladke khushgappion mein mashghool the to ek taraf se awaz aayi,

“Jo de us ka bhi bhala, jo na de us ka bhi bhala, thak, thak, thak”

“Koi Allah ka banda ek bidi pilwa de, thak, thak…..”

Yeh Hafiz Ji the, apni laathi khatkate nange paaon is sardi mein geeli sadak par ek taraf aahista aahista chale ja rahe the. Boonda baandi ho rahi thi. Andhere ka raaj tha aur committee ke khamboN se kamzor aur peeli roshni chatak rhi thi. Laddan ne ek ladke ko ikanni di ke jakar Hafiz ji ki jeb mein daal de aur jeb se ek bidi nikal laye. Dukanen band theeN aur bidi cigarette khatm ho gayi  thi.Tajarbe se unhen maloom tha k Hafiz ji kis jeb mein bhjwayi hui bidi rakhte hain. Ladke ke haton ko mahsoos karke Hafiz ji ne duayen dena shuroo kar deen aur uske jaane ke baad jeb tatoli to paya ke ikanni to thi lekin iklauti bidi ghayeb thi. Duaayen ab mughallezaat mein badal gayin. Unka aakhr e shab bidi ka shughal khatre mein pad gaya tha.Haarchand k ek aane mein bees biDiyan milti thi, lekin rat ke waqt, sardi mein akhri biDi ki qeemat woh hi janta hai jo peeta hai.

Udhar Laddan ne bidi jalayi aur masti meiN kash leta hua sadak par aa gaya. Boonda baandi to ho rahi thi, ek boond taak kar us ki jalti bidi ko bujha gayi. Sardion ki boondein badi aur bhaari hoti haiN. Ab jo Laddan ne us kambakht boond ko galiaN dena shuroo kiya hai to deta hi gaya. Is Sali boond ko saari duniya mein ek yahi jagh rah gayi thi, meri bidi ka jalta hua kinara? Is ki to maaN ki……….. ghantoN bas who isi par laga raha, Hafiz ji ja chuke the. Aasim sahib na jaane kahaN se aa nikle. Maloon karne par ladkon ne sara qissa suna dia. Woh bole “yeh to badi gadbad ho gayi. Woh boond badi hi gadbad ho gi . Hafiz ji ke saath bhi bahot gadbad ki tum logon ne.” Unhoon ne Laddan ko ek bidi pesh ki to woh thanda hua.

Yehi Laddan aaj Fikr sahib ko ek tarah se lataaD raha tha. Mujhe fikr ki kya zaroorat, mujhe kisi baat ki fikr nahin hai, mein fikr par hazar lanat bhejta hoon, fikr ki bahen,….. Fikr ki maan……

Achanak Fikr sahib uth gaye. Unse aur na suna gaya. Aadhi chaye gilaas mein ab bhi rah gayi thi aur thandi ho gayi thi. Hotel ke ladke ne gilaas utha kar ghata ghat ek hi sans mein who thandi chaye pee dali aur jate hue Fikr sahib ko dekha, phir counter per khade maalik ko dekha. Hotel ka maalik Riaz sab dekh aur sun raha tha. Usne ladke ko ishaara kiya: koi baat nahin, Fikr sahib paise baad mein de den ge, jaane do.

Baahar seediyon par Asim sahib mil gaye. “Khairat hai? Aap itne ghabraye hue kyoon hain? Koi gad bad ho gayi?”

“Andar Laddan baitha hai aur mujhe fikr kah kah kar salawatein suna raha hai”

“woh to bahot gad bad aadmi hai” woh un ke saath wapas laot gaye aur kaha,”chaliye main bhi aap ke saath chalta huN. Aap ke ghar ki chai bahot achhi hoti hai” Aisa laga Asim sahib bhi Laddan se bach kar chalna chaah rahe the.

Muraad Ali Fikr ne sabzi ki dukan par ruk kar sabzi wale se kaha,”Bhayya yeh duanni lo aur thaile mein derh pao aaloo aur ek pao baigan daal do”.

“Is mein to ek ek pao hi ayen ge aaloo aur baigan.” Us ne duanni lete hue kaha.

“lekin meri biwi ne to yeh hi kaha tha”

Asim sahib beech mein bole,” bhaao taao mein gad bad karma in logon ka kaam hai”

“DekheN gad bad sahib, aap ko dekh kar ham bhaao bhool jaate hain aur taao aa jata hai. Aap khud to sabzi us kunjde se lete hain jo kharaab aur baasi sabzi sasti bechta hai.”

“Ham ko sikhaate ho bhao tao. Abhi tumhare is gaahak ko kheench kar le jaoon ga. Aur yeh tum gad bad batien kyoon karte ho. Ham jahan se bhi khareedeN.”

Fikr sahib ne musalehatan kaha,” Theek hai ek ek hi pao de do, Aur thoda sa hara dhaniya aur do teen hari mirch to tum dete hi ho, saath mein”.

“Ab baigan aalo mein hara dhaniya kaun dalta hai sahib. Waise bhi sardiyan shuroo hain aur hara dhaniya bahot mahnga hai. Achha lijiye hari mirch dal deta hoon” Usne thaile mein aalo baigan ke saath do-teen mirchen daliN.

Asim sahib ne kuchh kahna chaha to Fikr ne haath se roka aur thaila lekar aage barh gaye. Asim sahib chipke chipke chalet rahe aur kahne lage, “aap kahte to k dhaniya ki chatni achhi banti hai. Is tarah to yeh log hamesha gad bad Karen ge”.

Jald hi ghar aa gaya aur Fikr sahib andar chale gaye. Jab laute to unke haath mein do stool the. Ek par khud tik gaye aur doosre par Asim. Andar se awaz aayi to yeh chaaye le aye. Ek piyali chaaye pirach mein rakhi thi. Asim sahib piyali lete hue bole,       “Aur aap ki chaaye?”

“Main abhi abhi hotel se pi kar aya huN, aur zaeqa abhi bhi taaza hai”  Laddan ki bad tameezi ko zaeqa kahate hue who zara ghamgeen ho gaye.

“Yeh gad bad mujh se nahin ho gi ke ham akele hi chaaye piyeN” Asim sahib ne pirach mein do ghoont chaaye daal kar unhen di aur khud piyali se suDap suDap kar peene laage.”

“Yeh ghazal mujhe khas taur par pasand hai. Raat neend nahin aa rahi thi. Jab ghazal mukammal hui to gahree neend so gaya.” Fikr chaaye khatm kar ke bole.

“Ab yeh is aadhi piyali chaye ka muawza wasoole ga, apni gad bad shayri suna suna kar” Asim sahib ne dil mein socha aur buland awaaz mein kaha,” mujhe ek zaroori kaam yad aa gaya hai. Gazal phir sahi.”

“Arz kiya hai,” “aap ka ziadah waqt nahiN loon ga”

“aap ki bhabhi ki tabiyat zara gad bad hai. Waqt pe na pahoncha to gad bad ho jaye gi”

“bas do sher sun lijiye”

“Irshad”, khare hote hue kaha

“Aap tashreef to rakhye”, Fikr sahib ne stool ki taraf ishara karte hue kaha.

“Janab main sun raha hun. Aap irshad kijiye”, who khaDe rahe.

Arz kiya hai,“raat kaali hai ise aap ki zulfeN kahoooN

“haath angDaayi ko uthen unheN shaakhen kahooN.”

“wah wah. bargad ki ya amrood ki?” Asim sahib shokhi se bole.

“doosra sher hai,” “chaliye maana ke hamari arz zara lambi hai”

“chaliye maana ke hamari arz zara lambi hai,

zindagi ke char din hain main unheiN raaten kahooN.

Asim sahib chehre par karb late hue goya hue,“Pahle misre mein wazan gadbad hai. Ke ko hata kar padheN”

“chaliye maana hamari arz zara lambi kai”, Fikr sahib ne mashwara maan liya.

Asim sahib ne phir kaha, “doosra misra yoon theek hoga”, “aap khamosh rahein aur main ise baaten kahooN.”

“Nahin mera misra achha hai.” Unhoon ne Asim sahib ki tezi se door hoti hui peeth ko mukhatib kiya. “Tashreef lane ka shukria”.

Baad mein unhoon ne Asim sahib ka misra bhi apnaa liya.

The ayah 2:62 of The Holy Qoran

I find in this ayah great hope for each and every one of us who believes in ONENESS of God.

There are several such ayahs. for example: 7: 35, 46:13 in the Holy Qoran.

This is a NAZM from RAFIULLAH MIAN. I copied it from his post:

http://rafiullahmian.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/%DA%A9%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%88%D8%B3-%D9%BE%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%85%D9%84-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%DB%81%D8%B4%DB%8C%DA%BA/

I only have taken the liberty to add its translation in to English. Please bear with me if you find the translation not to the mark.

کینوس پر مندمل خواہشیں

جگر کے لہورنگ گوشوں میں تڑپن
کبھی دل کے خانوں میں مچلن
مجھے زخم تم نے نہیں
خود مری خواہشوں نے دیے تھے
وہ جذبوں کا ہیجان تھا
جس نے میرے مکاں کو اجاڑا
٭

This itching in the veins

The burn in the heart

Given me not by you o my love

But indeed it was my desires.

It was the storm in me

Of untamed longings

That ruined my very being.

نظیر اپنی ملتی نہیں اس جہاں میں
کہ خواہش کو زخم ِ جگر میں بدل کر
نیا خوں بننے سے روکا گیا ہے

I am unmatched in that

I allowed

the temptations

punch my soul and

prevent life (from blooming)

٭
مگر خواہشوں کو
مرے جسم و جاں سے
بری طرح لپٹے ہوئے وقت نے
مندمل کردیا ہے

But the TIME

That lived along with me

Has now succeeded in

Diminishing the desires

بظاہر تو معصوم ہیں
خواہشیں شارک بن کر
تعاقب میں خوابوں کے رہتی ہیں اکثر
چلیں، کینوس پر تحفظ کی خاطر
انہیں پینٹ کردیں

They look innocent on the face

But these desires like sharks

 chase my dreams.

Let us paint them on the canvas,

 If only to preserve them.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Canvas par mundamil khwahishaiN

Jigar k laho-rang goshoN main taRpan
Kabhi dil k khaanoN main machlan
Mujhay zakhm tum nay nahi
Khud meri khwahishoN nay diye thay
Wo jazboN ka haijaan tha
Jis nay meray makaaN ko ujaaRa
*
Nazeer apni miltii nahi is jahaN main
K khwahish ko zakhm-e-jigar main badal kar
Naya khoon bannay say roka gaya hay
*
Magar khwahishoN ko
Meray jism-o-jaaN say
Buri tarha liptay howe waqt nay
Mundamil kardia hay
*
Bazaahir tu masoom hain
KhawahishaiN shark ban kar
Ta’aqub main khwaboN k rehti haiN aksar
ChalaiN, canvas par tahaffuz ki khaatir
Inhain paint kardain

Chaap Tilak

Chhap tilak sab cheeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Chhap tilak sab cheeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Prem bhatee ka madhva pilaikay
Matvali kar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Gori gori bayyan, hari hari churiyan
Bayyan pakar dhar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Bal bal jaaon mein toray rang rajwa
Apni see kar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Khusrau Nijaam kay bal bal jayyiye
Mohay Suhaagan keeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Chhap tilak sab cheeni ray mosay naina milaikayTranslation
You’ve taken away my looks, my identity, by just a glance.
By making me drink the wine of love-potion,
You’ve intoxicated me by just a glance;
My fair, delicate wrists with green bangles in them,
Have been held tightly by you with just a glance.
I give my life to you, Oh my cloth-dyer,
You’ve dyed me in yourself, by just a glance.
I give my whole life to you Oh, Nijam,
You’ve made me your bride, by just a glance.

Inhin logon ne……..

Listen to this wonderful song before reading further.

Inhin logon ne, inhin logon ne, inhi logon ne le leena dupatta mera.

[These very people took away from me my shoulder scarf]

hamri na maano, bajajwa se poochho,

jis ne asharfi gaj deena dupatta mera.

[If you don’t believe me, ask the cloth merchant,

who sold me my shoulder scarf an asharfi a yard. (a gold coin a yard)]

Hamri na maano, rang rajwa se poochho,

Jisne gulabi rang deena dupatta mera.

[If you don’t believe me, ask the dyer

who dyed my shoulder scarf pink].

hamri na maano, sipahiyya se poochho,

jis ne bajaria men chheena dupatta mera

[If you don’t believe me, ask the police man,

who in the market place snatched my shoulder scarf]

This song, like many others, is a window to the Indian world of yesterday, when women used to get their clothes dyed and there were professional dyers. In this song, rangrajwa, seen here listening to the mujra along with sipahiyya and bajajwa, actually dyes her dupatta pink. Even in Karachi as late as 10 years ago, I remember our women used to ask us to take them to the area behind Disco Bakery for dyeing clothes. And remember, it also shows, in no uncertain ways, that the sipahiyya of those days were no different from our ‘petty tulleys’ of today. “Jisne bajaria mein chheena” dupatta mera. (Who grabbed my scarf in the market place). Also these days the cloth merchants have become ready made garments dealers, as hardly any one buys cloth for shirt, or for pair of trousers now.

As far as Rangrajwa is concerned, Amir khusrow, in his shohrah e afaaq nazm “Chhaap tilak sab chheeni re mose naina milayike” uses rangrajwa in a metaphorical manner.

Bal bal jaaon mein toray rang rajwa
Apni see kar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay

Here the rangrajwa is no other than the ‘mehboob’ himself who has ‘dyed’ her (the lover) in his own ‘colour’, Meaning his love has made her forget her own self as it is him she always remembers.

FOR DETAILED NAZM, PLEASE GO TO

http://shakilakhtar.wordpress.com/2013/11/02/amir-khusrow/

SHERWANI

Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru                                    Maulana Abul Kalaam Azaad

This long jacket with closed collar is a unique garment found only in the subcontinent and has the distinction of being worn ONLY by the elite and by the scholars. Now rare but still seen here and there, it remains the only male garment NOT graced by the so called emancipated females. This and a lot more of interesting facts have been written in a very light manner by Syed Mashood Jamal of Islamia Inter College Shahjahan Pur, U.P. India and can be seen in its original form in Urdu at

http://salim598786.wordpress.com/2012/04/30/collection-of-inshaiye-by-syed-mashood-jamal-post-10/

Here I dare to try to reproduce a translation for the benefit of my readers.

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MY SHERWANI

[by Syed Mashood Jamal(Urdu)]

[Translated by Shakil Akhtar]

There is a saying that a barber can turn a man into a gentleman. But it will be unfair to attribute this honour only to barbers, as the washer man, the tailor as well as shoemakers too have a lot to contribute in this regard. Even so there are in our society a group of people who in their entire life never so mush as touch a razor or a pair of scissors and yet they are as a rule very gentle, not withstanding the fact that they are subject to general ridicule in ordinary conversation in the society. (Sikhs). But you cannot do without a tailor if you are to convert yourself to an acceptable gentleman.

From the day man has started covering himself, a myriad of dresses and garments have been invented, tried and reinvented that helped him look a little different from the animals on the outside at least, and even looked a little civilized, but the inner self still remained untouched. During the rise and fall of many civilizations, many garments have been invented but none were such that would identify the wearer as civilized or otherwise. Finally it was the subcontinent that came up with a garment that was reserved for the civilized, elite, scholars and the intellectual thinkers alone. This was named “Sherwani” which never graced any one except a select few. And if ever it was worn by an ordinary folk, it was like:

“If others wore it they looked misplaced”.

Before the independence, the elite, who as a rule were sporting straight faces, well formed physique, a good height and carrying a walking stick with style wore sherwanis reaching well below the knees that displayed the status given them by Allah as well as the wealth given them by the English. These sherwanis also were a key in enhancing the aura of the intellectuals and were a statement for the gentleness of the gentlemen. After the independence the land lords were striped of their land and of their high status curtailing the use of sherwanis greatly, but still the scholars and the gentlemen kept the tradition alive somehow. Slowly with the decline of Urdu civilization, the sherwani too all but disappeared from the society. There was a general rise in wealth but the true rich were gone. Also education was made common but the true learning went missing. In the light of new standards, the norms of being a gentleman and of being civilized changed. Today both the master and the slave seem to have no qualms as far as dress is concerned. Since the sherwani couldn’t degrade itself, it went down with the true learning and with the true status.

Not long ago our poets and literary men always wore only sherwanis. As they were invariably also scholars, the sherwani too was dear to them. There were among these many who professed progressiveness (communism) and still remained stuck with their attire of sherwani and traditional cap, not withstanding the fact that this attire represented the old system of land lords and conservatism. Some even famously asked their women folk to turn their head scarf in to a flag, without themselves abandoning the sherwani. But at long last the red revolution was not to be and the sherwanis that were reeking with the scent of knowledge and of intellect became ragged. Now at last the progressive folk saw inescapable connection of conservatism in the sherwani and thus now on the stage of poetry and literature we see that together with the real intellect and real poetry, the sherwani too has all but disappeared.

A sherwani has the distinction of being the attire of the civilized and of the men of status. After wearing it one finds himself sort of restricted as far as behaviour is concerned. It is no longer possible for one to display unacceptable behaviour. Folks wearing a sherwani prefer verbal or written exchanges to physical blows in case of a dispute. Sir Syed Ahmad Khan knew this when he made in Aligarh University the wearing of sherwani mandatory. We cannot but hail his wisdom and foresightedness in this regard too. As a result one can see a considerably less student commotion and a lot better disipline these days in Aligarh University as compared with other institutions. This is so in spite of the fact that the wearing of a sherwani there has become a sort of routine and a sherwani’s real meaning has gone.

Another unique quality of a sherwani is that it can be worn at virtually any occasion without fear of it being unsuitable. Wearing it, you may go to a wedding or a funeral, for consolation on a bereavement or for a courtesy visit to a patient. You might also wear it on social, political or literary meetings. This multipurpose sherwani is equally graceful in functions where food is served and that is perhaps why the mullah (the clergy) is even now found wearing it.

Our women folk have tried, owing to career, fashion or in the name of emancipation of female, all sorts of attire including jeans, jackets and  coat paint, but never the sherwani. This shows that a sherwani is the only garment capable of really covering a person in true sense.

If a sherwani is worn by even a questionable person turns him instantly in to a respectable one. That is perhaps the reason that at the time of marriage the grooms wear a sherwani. To make sure that he is hidden completely, at least till the nikah is done, his face is kept hidden behind garlands.

Sherwani is a symbol of a slow and quite type of populace and it could not match today’s fast and direction less life and thus had to be abandoned. But it is to be noted that the people who wore sherwani and now do not still remain slow and have failed to match their style with the demands of a fast life. Today’s new generation lack the values, traditions, sincerity and serenity that is the hallmark of a sherwani.

AYE MERI SHERWANI

Halat pe ab main teri aansu baha raha hun

Har chaak e nau se tere aankhen laDa raha hun

Phir bakhiya o rafu ka barbat baja raha hun

De sakta kaash tujh ko mein umr jaa viadaani

Aye meri sherwani.

(Note: The above line could not be translated without being meaning less).